|
Look
i-D magazine
Think
bbc news
Listen
sleater-kinney
Discover
ajisen ramen
What was
it has just been waiting for me |
15 February 2008
Tickets bought, visa obtained, essential items purchased. Things crammed into bags, fussiness discarded, at least for now. Leaving time is now very nearly upon me, and yet somehow I'm not engaging in my usual inadvertant neurosis. In fact I'm really rather calm, all things considered. I'm not totally sure why that is. Perhaps it's just one of those surprising parts of growing as a person. Or the absence of the other worries which have been crowding my brain recently.Having always been so preoccupied with doing things perfectly, a bit of failure - a bit of uncertainty and upset in the life I tried so hard to organise into submission - seems to have made me calmer and more resolved. Knowing that when things go wrong, the world really doesn't end. Maybe it sounds trite and a little cheap in terms of self analysis, but things being screwed up has helped me to appreciate the present a little more. Like Raskolnikov and the rest, suffering makes me stronger. Of course, it doesn't stop me from being pretentious enough to compare my own situation to the resolution of a Dostoyevsky novel... Anyway, here I am, about to be off halfway around the world. Wishing to avoid the cliches of enriching elements of myself, and 'you just don't know what it's like, man' in favour of a genuine experience of something different. I hope it will make me wiser, more self-possessed, and more at ease with myself. Elements of growth which I have experienced already over the last couple of years, and which I want to continue, ever chasing greater knowledge both of world and self, fitting more pieces into the infinite jigsaw puzzle of my life. utterly utter [
23:37 ]
|
And from La Belle France may I be the first person to wish you well: (im using a very confusing french keyboard - the full stop seems to be missing - weird French! everythings mixed up) Currently im waiting for when i catch my coach back home and you will probably be gone when im back! (due to lack of dots this message will just have to sound very excited, haha)
ANYWAY, have the bestest time ever! It wont all be peachy im sure-after the initial wow wow you may feel a little strange but embrace the strangeness and i bet you will fall in love with the place! keep yourself busy, share all your pictures with us and share the tales of the Anna :D
China is awaiting your brilliance! Keep in touch - lots of love, Zan xxxxxxxxxx
Post a Comment