take me up to the top of the city
Look

i-D magazine
postsecret
hel looks
SUPERSUPER
sleeveface
indexed
sister's photos
apple
perez
fred flare
ici on <3

Think

bbc news
guardian
richard dawkins
amanda palmer
stephen fry
augusten burroughs
guerilla girls
monitor mix
abi
carah

Listen

sleater-kinney
sonic youth
ellen allien
the dresden dolls
miss kittin

Discover

ajisen ramen
qingdao, olympic city
lucky chinese pets
tsingtao beer
stuffed buns with little faces

What was

it has just been waiting for me
stuck on repeat
east meets west, unfortunately
early morning
vending machine, tokyo
lantern 2
lantern, tokyo
konnichiwa nippon
all at sea
final thoughts from china
a meaningful gesture
keeping connected
anti-carrefour demo
busfuls of wedding couples
friday miscellany
'what if noone's watching?'
being beat
worrying
on language, nature and my neck
poisonous pink
cultural aspect ratio
frustration
starbucks is love
free gifts, easter & lazy day music
mais qu'est-ce qui se passe ici?
carrefour je t'aime
happy birthday (ii)
notes from qingdao
happy birthday (i)
more of beijing
on betrayal
brief note
ni hao from beijing
pre-departure thoughts
traveling music
quoted wisdom
my hero
crack repair, art kid style
about qingdao, from wikipedia
china address



04 April 2008
it's odd what a couple of days off can do to your state of mind. not always in a particularly good way. as long as i can remember i've always found being isolated somewhere rather worrying. i begin to feel cut off from the rest of the world, and uncertain as to whether it is still really there. or i begin to think that something must be happening - something big, that i haven't been told about. terribly paranoid of course, but these things begin to creep into my head in the moments between being busy. of course i like and need my alone time, but i also like to have other people to bounce off, to keep my sense of perspective on things. it helps.

i am, however, grateful for the short break. i've been feeling particularly tired just recently, and rather irritated by the response of some of the students to my attempts to teach them anything. it doesn't upset me as much as i find it annoying. patience, particularly when it is with other people's stupid behaviour, has never been my strongest point. i can't help feeling that it is a waste for a school like this to have native english teachers when their students are at such a terribly elementary level. i suspect that the help of an anglophone teacher or assistant is only really effective above a certain level of linguistic skill. below this level, basic communication becomes extremely difficult. when i think that there must be hundreds of students with better english and a better attitude who could benefit far more from my help even just in this city, i feel particularly frustrated. i have a lot to offer as an assistant to english learning. i have a strong grasp of spelling, grammar and linguistic convention, and a vast array of lovely idiomatic language to teach, but for a student who can barely string three words together in english there is little i can do beyond what their chinese-born english teacher can teach. and given that i don't have sufficient command of chinese language and culture to tell them to shut up and listen because this is important, the chinese teacher would arguably be preferable.

sigh.


utterly utter [ 10:16 ]